I know it’s tough to differentiate yourself in an industry as conservative as higher education, but sometimes you have to wonder about some of the taglines, slogans, and ads that institutions come up with.  Herewith, a brief list of the most puzzling:

#1 – University of Toronto – “Canada’s Answer to the World’s Questions”.  Seriously, did they just not bother to focus-test this on anyone who’s ever lived outside the GTA?  It plays into every possible negative stereotype about the city and the university – overbearing, insular, contemptuous of the rest of country.  Heck, they might as well just put Michael Ignatieff on their marketing material.  It may play well to their core donor base of WASP-y Rosedale types, but it actively alienates everyone else. 

#2 – University of Ottawa – “Canada’s University”.  This is actually an insanely great tagline – think how much brand real-estate you could occupy as “Canada’s University”!  But a tagline doesn’t mean anything if you don’t give it life, which U of O didn’t. Why not start a Rhodes-type scholarship to bring two top students from each province to U of O, or insist on attracting the best Canadian historians to the school?  Do something to live up to it, for God’s sake.  

#3 – University of Calgary – “And that’s where the robot entered my head”.  Not a tagline, exactly, but rather the key phrase in an ad that U of C placed in seemingly every airport in the country, circa 2010.  It featured a picture of a young woman whose life had been saved by some piece of University of Calgary-developed robotic technology.  It’s always good to situate yourself at the forefront of medical innovation, but being known as the place where they open your skull and insert robots – that’s a different story.  I doubt I’m the only one who got a Fantastic Voyage mindworm vibe from seeing the ad.  And while it’s possible that a mental connection with Raquel Welch might be positive for the university, I seriously doubt the same is true for one with Donald Pleasance.

#4 –Queen’s University – “Who Really Cares?”.   I have yet to meet anyone that isn’t actively offended by this new ad campaign.  I understand that the idea here is to show that Queen’s is a place full of people who care deeply about, and work hard on, solutions to important societal problems, which I’m sure it is.  What I don’t understand is how their focus groups could have failed to pick up that this particular phrase has overtones of “not only do we care, we care more deeply than anyone else” – which is unbelievably condescending.

Any other nominees?  Send ‘em in!